Emotional Mindfulness

Mind, Body, Spirit Counseling Derry LLC

230 Rockingham Road

Derry, NH 03038

6-Week Private Coaching Program

This is a program that uses mind, body, and breath to teach clients how to slow down, recognize and balance their emotional state by combining the techniques and practices of emotional mindfulness by Ronald J. Frederick and Timothy J. Beyer. Sessions include information that is taken directly from Ronald J. Frederick's book, "Living Like You Mean It" and include the following 6 Sessions:

Session 1: Preparation-To Feel or Not to Feel
Feelings are a part of our natural make-up and, as such, are a “wired-in” response. Our emotions are there for our benefit. It’s in our feelings that we find our true, authentic self. Most people, to some degree or another are afraid of their feelings. This kind of fear can be called a feelings phobia. Our defenses, not our feelings can lead to a wide range of physical, emotional, and psychological problems. Feelings are like waves and have a natural flow to them. They rise up, crescendo, and then dissipate. The core of your being is formed by what and how you feel. When you avoid your feelings, you’re squelching your identity and thwarting your true potential. Although it takes courage to face your feelings, the rewards are numerous.

Session 2: Step One/Part One-Becoming Aware of Your Feelings
Unacknowledged feelings negatively affect our experience and behavior. With practice, you can become more consciously aware of your emotions. Feelings are felt in the body. The key to becoming aware of our emotions is rooted in our visceral “felt” experience-not in our mind. We need to make room to connect. Thinking distances you from your feelings. Mindfully tuning into your body sensations brings you closer to your feelings. There are eight basic emotions on which all others are based. How you experience your feelings is neither right nor wrong-it just is.

Session 3: Step One/Part Two-Becoming Aware of Your Defenses
A defense is any thought, behavior, or reaction used to distance ourselves from our feelings. Defenses develop in childhood as a way to help us feel safe. Over time, defenses develop into our “default” responses to feelings. Over reliance on defenses can lead to a variety of problems. Defenses operate to protect us from the anxiety we experiences when we get close to our true feelings. Defenses can be used to keep our emotions from others as well as from ourselves. Feelings can also be defensive when they are used to cover up our true emotional experience. Practicing emotional mindfulness can increase your ability to recognize your own defensive responses. Being aware of your defenses is essential to freeing yourself up emotionally and connecting more deeply with others.

Session 4: Step Two: Taming the Fear
Anxiety or fear can be a helpful sign that we’re getting closer to emotions. We can reduce our discomfort to a manageable level so that our emotions don’t have to feel overwhelming. Identifying and simply naming our feelings decreases anxiety. Describing and tracking the physical manifestations of anxiety or fear can regulate our emotional experience. Abdominal breathing stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system and calms our fear response. Visualization and that positive feelings it engenders can act as an antidote to anxiety and fear. Placing a hand on your heart stimulates the vagus nerve, which calms your nervous system. Practicing these strategies increases your capacity to manage your distress and get control of your fear.

Session 5: Step Three: Feel it Through
When fully felt, feelings don’t last forever. They have a beginning, middle, and end. We need to be willing to see and accept our feelings for what they are. Attuning to what’s going on inside us frees up the energy of our emotions and allows that energy to move. Emotions are multifaceted. We need to feel them in all their complexity in order for them to benefit us. There comes a moment when it’s often best simply to “give way” to our feelings. Experiencing our feelings and expressing our feelings are two different things. When we stay open to our feelings and really give them their due, they bring us a wealth of internal resources. When we feel our emotions through to completion, we experience a body shift; we feel freed up and relieved. Making space for and working through one feelings sometimes allow room for others to emerge. Reflecting on our experience of feeling our emotions through consolidates our gains and rewires our neural network.

Session 6: Step Four: Opening Up
Our needs for closeness, security, and care are biologically based and exist throughout our lifetime. Emotions can help us see what we need or want in order to make things better. Putting our feelings into words is one of the most powerful ways to communicate what’s in our heart. Early experiences with our caregivers can lead us to be afraid of opening up later in life. Fear of expressing ourselves can be overcome from practice and experience. When we are mindful of it, the wisdom of our feelings can inform and guide our choices. When verbalizing how we feel and what we need, we should keep our message simple and clear, us “I” statements, and communicate in a way that is respectful to ourselves and to the listener. Slowing ourselves down and mindfully attending to the present moment can make opening up more manageable. Speaking slowly connects us to our feelings and allows our expression to come from the heart. Making eye contact helps extinguish our fears, makes us feel closer, and increases the likelihood of being understood. Lean into your discomfort a little more each time, and your capacity to be emotionally open will expand.

This program can be done either in person or online through video, depending on my availability. Each session is $90.00 for 50 minutes. This does not include our intake session.

Mindfulness is a powerful tool that creates space between an action and your reaction. These practices develop emotional intelligence by bringing awareness to your emotions and those of people around you. It can also help you to learn to apply and manage your emotions effectively through mindful thought and action.

Weekly Coherent Breathing, Mindfulness & Meditation Class

Every Tuesday September-May: 7:00PM-8:30PM
$25.00 per class <OR> $99.00 for 5 Class Card

Call Me: (603) 475-9030